I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
