I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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