just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I am one with the molecules
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
