Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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