Everything about him screamed your future.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
