Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
