I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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