Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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