idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
