and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
