I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize
