She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
