Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
