he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
