he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
