do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
