Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
