there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
