it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize