that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
