sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
