I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
