I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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