My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
