Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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