she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.