sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
its like you know when i get waxed