Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.

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(216): View more from Ohio

make any headway on the foot/dick situation?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off

(617): View more from Massachusetts

he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

You make your fellow Jews happy.

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(+61): View more from Australia

We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat

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