trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
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According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
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Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.