She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
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I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
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A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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