I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
