my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
