Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
