She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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