Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
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apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
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As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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