I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I think I just sharted jello shots
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
