I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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