Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
mondays should just be called national damage control day
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
