Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
