Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
