Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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