and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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