singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
