new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
