We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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