if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize