Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
