I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
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This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
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Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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