Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
