New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
