were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
