Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
