dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
