Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
