Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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