Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
