I will die if light touches me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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