and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just pee around me
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Randomize
