Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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