So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
