a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
