Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize