Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
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He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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