im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
