Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
